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Monday, December 16, 2013

The story of my service learning.

I love my service learning group, Mercy. Actually we had been close before but since we did this service learning we're getting closer now. I feel so glad that my group can do this service learning well. I also feel so happy that I can share a knowledge to the other people. I love how my group can cooperate well in doing this service learning. We taught them together, we faced some problems together, we decided a thing together, and we got some new experiences together. Thanks to my group that we could support each other through this hard work. I know without you guys this service learning wouldn't run well. I hope we can still be close each other even though this service learning has already finished. 

My next planning to implement my informatics knowledge in public society as college student is by serving some children who do not have enough money to go to school by teaching them about computer material cause I know they will definitely need it along with the development of technology.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

God will make a way when there seems to be no way..

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with Jesus..
Scenes from my life flashed across the sky.. In each, I noticed footprints in the sand.  Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.. other times there was only one. During the lowest time of my life I could see only one set of footprints so I said, "Jesus, You promised me, that You would walk with me always. Why, when I have needed you most, would You leave me?" Jesus replied, "My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.  The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Sometimes I feel like I wanna give up about this life.. But I know that He's always be with me so I don't need to worry about anything. But sometimes I think... about the decisions I've made... whether they are my biggest mistakes or God has prepared me some better things for my future... I may not understand how everything will work out, but I trust You Lord... Maybe now I don't see a way, but I do believe that You will make a way..

Ecclesiastes 3:11 - He has made everything beautiful in its time...

Monday, November 04, 2013

Let me go home.

My family lives so far away.. I am here and there they stay. I remember a time of fun and walks
and now I have to deal with locks. Can you guess where I live now? It is very crowded and very loud. I miss the quietness of my home. Because home is.. pictures of memories on the wall.. sleeping in my own bed.. waking up to the smell of mom's cooking.. reading novels in the living room.. It's a warm place to be. Sweet... the place for me.. filled with love... it's where my heart is.

I miss my family when I am alone.. Because family is.. understanding.. never demanding.. all for one and one for all.. it's a "I-will-never-leave-you-alone-standing".. my love is your love.. your pain is my pain.. my wealth is your wealth.. it's a "I-promise-to-never-leave-you-by-yourself"..


Forever to eternity.. we are family.. my father.. my mother.. my sister.. and me.



Sorry for this sad and weird face.. it's me who is missing my home and family so badly.. LET ME GO HOME!!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Komal

What do you think you are?
A melancholic person.

What do your friends / family think you are?
A weak girl.

Are there any gaps? What are you going to do with it?
No. I have a good relation with my friends and family even if I'm so far away from my parent right now but I always have communication with them everyday by text or call.
And I'm kind of phlegmatic person who can make friendships easily so that I can be friendly with all people who want to receive my existence.

3 most important points you learn on how you identify, learn and develop your interpersonal communication skills especially related to your self - concept/awareness/esteem, values and soft-skills during class meetings, online discussion, service learning experiences and daily life. Inclusion of related anecdotes, poems, drawings or crazy ideas are greatly welcome!

You know, I'm a melancholic-phlegmatic-kind-of-person. I'm always over thinking about things more than it should be. I always use my feeling too much. Too much drama in my mind. When I get problems, I can't go from my problems away. I want my problems to be finished clearly as soon as possible, that's why I always think about it more and more and look at the problems from the negative perspective mostly. 
I'm very sensitive. I always realize when the unusual things happen. When someone acts unusual to me, I always wonder why they do it. I always wonder what my fault is, what makes them change their behavior to me where I know that just like seasons, people change. I know that sometimes they have their own problems so they act like that to me. But I'm always afraid that I'm the one who makes them like that. That makes me having such a weird and awkward communication with people sometimes. And the other problem of being sensitive is easily offended. That's why many people say that we are the melancholic not suitable with the sanguine one. Because the sanguine always say what in their mind without thinking about other's feelings. That's a big different. I think about other's feelings more than mine. I don't care I will be hurt as long as I don't hurt them.

I'm an introvert-extrovert-kind-of-person. Sometimes I can be an introvert and extrovert to some people. So I also have phlegmatic side that can make me making friendship easily. I hate arguing. It's also kind of phlegmatic type. Being not-a-friend with other people is the thing that suffers me. When I get into some problems with my friends, I always want my problems to be finished soon. I will not let a day passed by. I don't mind if I will be the one who is asking for apologize first as long as we can be friend again even if it's not my fault.

I have low-self-esteem. I look at the things from the negative perspective mostly. I usually focus on my weaknesses and mistakes that I have made.

Attitude that I want to stop doing is being too melancholic. Because being melancholic is really tiring. Too much drama.

Attitude that I've been successful in developing is I can make friendships easily. I don't choose for people to be my friends. I love to make friendships with all people in the world.


Saturday, August 31, 2013

Interpersonal Communication + Interpersonal Skills = Interpersonal Relationships

Interpersonal Communication is the way we interact through communication with other people. I wondered why this subject should be given for us, the informatic students. But right now I realize that it will be very important for us. People usually assume that informatic students are always sitting in front of the computer, doing some freaking things called coding or something. And by being given this subject, perhaps it could make us have good interpersonal communication skill which will be very important for our social life.

And what is intrapersonal communication?

It's an internal process of communicating with the self. It may be more commonly recognized as the "little voice in your head" or "self-talk." Self-talk may be a dialogue in which you encourage yourself to act in a certain way, alternatively it may be an imagined conversation.

But what I want to talk about here is the interpersonal communication one.

You know what, interpersonal communication skill is an important thing to have and can be valuable in almost any situation. When we have good interpersonal communication skills, we are able to develop social skills and can effectively communicate with someone using various techniques. It's also very important for us who want a good job and a good relationship with our manager or our workers. 

One of the interpersonal skills to have is the ability to have effective communication with other people. Effective communication is fairly easy to accomplish since the main goals are to listen and comprehend what someone is saying to us. It's important to always recognize the person that is talking to us to let them know we are listening and sometimes nodding and agreeing are ways to show that we are listening. Once the person is done talking to us, it's important to summarize in our own words what the conversation was about. So that the person knows that we understand the conversation and we were paying attention. This skill is very important for us to have good relationship and we will be better respected because we take the time to make sure we understand what is being asked of us.


The other thing that is very important in interpersonal communication is about anger management. It's also a great and effective interpersonal skill that is important at the workplace. Everyone becomes angry sometimes, at something, whether it's a bad day or other person makes us angry. It's important to know that being angry at work can cause a lot of problems and can possibly make us lose our job if we can't properly control those emotions. One of the most important things to keep in mind when we are angry is to take deep breathes to calm down and if that doesn't work then just walk away. Knowing how to deal with our anger will enhance the relationship between us and the other people and will help them to develop better anger management skills. People will come to us with problems due to the fact they know that we can find a proper way to deal with the situation at hand. This is also important because maybe our boss might be looking at us as a team leader or offering us a higher level position.


And what about my interpersonal communication skill?

You know, I'm a melancholic-phlegmatic-kind-of-person. I'm always over thinking about things more than it should be. I always use my feeling too much. Too much drama in my mind. When I get problems, I can't go from my problems away. I want my problems to be finished clearly as soon as possible, that's why I always think about it more and more and look at the problems from the negative perspective mostly. 
I'm very sensitive. I always realize when the unusual things happen. When someone acts unusual to me, I always wonder why they do it. I always wonder what my fault is, what makes them change their behavior to me where I know that just like seasons, people change. I know that sometimes they have their own problems so they act like that to me. But I'm always afraid that I'm the one who makes them like that. That makes me having such a weird and awkward communication with people sometimes. And the other problem of being sensitive is easily offended. That's why many people say that we are the melancholic not suitable with the sanguine one. Because the sanguine always say what in their mind without thinking about other's feelings. That's a big different. I think about other's feelings more than mine. I don't care I will be hurt as long as I don't hurt them.

I'm an introvert-extrovert-kind-of-person. Sometimes I can be an introvert and extrovert to some people. So I also have phlegmatic side that can make me making friendship easily. I hate arguing. It's also kind of phlegmatic type. Being not-a-friend with other people is the thing that suffers me. When I get into some problems with my friends, I always want my problems to be finished soon. I will not let a day passed by. I don't mind if I will be the one who is asking for apologize first as long as we can be friend again even if it's not my fault.

Any thoughts of improvement? Yeah. I'll try to not be in melancholic-world too much. Because being a melancholic is really tiring. Too much drama.

So you guys, let's have a good interpersonal communication skills because communication is the key and good relationship will go a long way!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Second short story.

Nike melihat dari kejauhan.
Tubuhnya mulai berguncang.
Tangannya mengepal kuat.
Ia melihat Robert begitu bahagia ketika berbicara dengan perempuan itu. Senyuman yang Nike lihat di wajah Robert, berbeda dengan senyuman yang Robert berikan pada Nike. Pandangan mata yang Nike lihat di wajah Robert saat melihatnya, berbeda dengan pandangan mata ketika Robert memandang Nike.
Robert pernah mengatakan kepada Nike, bahwa perempuan itu hanyalah temannya. Namun sekarang, Nike mulai bertanya-tanya.
Nike sendiri pun tidak mengerti. Apakah Robert memang memiliki perasaan untuk perempuan itu, lebih besar daripada perasaanya untuk Nike. But Nike doesn't want to be just another girl to him. She knows she must sounds crazy but she actually cares about him, a lot. Padahal Robert masih belum menjadi miliknya. And that scares her. Justru ketidakjelasan hubungannya-lah yang membuat ia takut. Nike tahu ini terdengar sangat egois. Nike tidak ingin wanita lain dekat dengan Robert. Nike sangat cemburu bila Robert melakukannya.
Namun kehadiran Nike pun sepertinya bukanlah hal yang membuat Robert merasa nyaman. Robert pun juga tidak peduli dengan keberadaan Nike. Dan Nike mulai sadar.. Betapa seharusnya ia tak perlu mengemis perhatian dari orang yang tak menganggapnya ada. :)

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Amazing REGAR 2013

The first day..
Inbound with team 7!
I haven't known each of them before.
We come from different faculties.
But they really made my day.
Although we didn't win the inbound competition but we had a very good time.
They are really awesome and so funny!
 


 
 The second day..
Cold night. Fireworks. Stars. Moon.
A dedication.. for our Kahim.
They called it Amazing Night.
And I loved this night.
 




 

 
The last day..
Outbound with team 4!
Seruuuuuu poooolllllll xD
 
 
The first time I draw with my chin. Lol

 
There are the best moments I had in each day of this Regar 2013.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Father's love



 
 
I've just watched this video since my pastor showed this video on her preaching this morning at church. This video got my tears dropping and really touched my heart. We could see here, how much the father (Dick Hoyt) loves his one and only son (Rick Hoyt) with his disability.
 
"When doctors left us alone after delivering the news, Judy and I had a good cry. Then we had a serious conversation.. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but this was my boy, my namesake. I loved him from the moment I saw him. I was determined to be the best father I could, regardless of whether he had a disability." -- Dick Hoyt.
 
Team Hoyt Ironman 1989
 
 
And here is the other video about Father's love for his daughter. It also touched and got my tears dropping. Maybe you never wonder how much your father loves you but deep inside his heart he has a big love for his daughter and son. It's similar with Jesus' love for His children. Although sometimes His children betray Him, forget Him, disappoint Him, but He always loves and cares for us...
 
 

 
So the greatest experience I've had in my life is the realization that God is my father. He adopted me to be His very own child. Even if your relationship with your dad brought you pain or disappointment, you can discover that God is a loving Father.
 
What good things did you receive from your dad?
The gift of life? Material provision?
Physically being there at home? at special events in your life? in times of need?
Good advice? Listening and caring?
Whatever good you received from him, even if it's not much, it's important to appreciate it. take it into you soul and always thank your dad and God.
 
How do you feel inside when you pray to God and calling him "Father'?
Do feel safe and warm and cared for?
Yes I do. I see Him smiling with arms open wide to me...
 
"How great is the love of the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God!"
-- 1 John 3:1
 
"I will be a Father to you and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
-- 2 Corinthians 6:18
 
Thanks God for your never ending love...

Monday, July 22, 2013

First short story.

Penantian..
Hari-hari aku lalui dengan penantian yang cukup panjang.. Yang aku sendiri pun tidak tahu kapan ujungnya. Kapan penantian itu akan segera berakhir. Bagiku, menantikan sesuatu yang memang sudah pasti, sama sekali tidak masalah. Namun berbeda dengan yang kualami sekarang. Penantian ini.. hanya menantikan sesuatu hal yang belum tentu pasti. Belum tentu pasti apakah ketika aku sudah lama menunggu, sesuatu tersebut akan datang.

Jarum jam menunjukkan angka 1. Aku memandangi jam tiada henti. Tidak tahu apa yang harus aku perbuat dalam kekosongan ini. Kemudian tiba-tiba ada seorang mengetuk pintu kamar ku. Langsung dengan cepat aku pun membukanya. Ketika ku buka, tidak ada siapa-siapa disana. Lalu aku beranjak masuk kembali dan menutup pintu. Namun sebelum aku menutup pintu, mata ku terarahkan ke bawah dan melihat secarik surat dan setangkai bunga mawar yang masih segar. Yah seperti biasa.. Sudah tidak heran lagi barang-barang tersebut berada di depan pintu kamar ku. Aku sudah sering mendapatkannya dengan tidak mengetahui siapa pengirimnya karena dia hanya menuliskan "secret admirer" pada pojok kanan bawah suratnya. Lalu aku membawa surat dan bunga tersebut masuk kamar dan mulai membuka surat tersebut.


Aku tercengang.

Kali ini suratnya berbeda dengan biasanya. Biasanya dia hanya menuliskan pusi-puisi indah untukku. Namun kali ini, dia memberikan sebuat alamat resto dan mengharapkan kehadiranku pada waktu yang telah ia tuliskan.
Aku tidak sabar untuk cepat-cepat bertemu dengannya.

Dan waktu itu pun tiba. Aku berangkat menuju tempat tersebut. Setibanya aku disana, aku bingung mencari nomor meja yang telah ia tentukan. Kemudian seseorang memanggil namaku. Dan aku langsung menoleh ke arahnya. Aku sangat terkejut karena aku melihat sesosok pria tampan mengenakan pakaian simple namun sangat cocok pada tubuhnya sehingga ia terlihat sangat keren. Rambutnya mohawk dengan sentuhan gel namun tertata rapi. Aku mengira-ngira apakah dia adalah orangnya. Dan benar, dia tiba-tiba memperkenalkan dirinya dan berkata "Aku Jason, your secret admirer." sambil mengulurkan tangannya. Secara otomatis aku pun mengulurkan tanganku dan memperkenalkan diriku.


Tidak terasa 2 jam berlalu. Banyak hal yang kami telah obrolkan. Tentang kuliah, hobi, cita2, dan sebagainya. Dia pun juga sempat beberapa kali memegang tanganku dan bagiku rasanya sangat menyenangkan. Aku mulai merasa nyaman dengannya. Karena hari itu sudah malam, kemudian ia mengantarku pulang ke kos, dan kita berpamitan. Sepanjang malam aku jadi memikirkannya terus tanpa henti, mengingat-ingat moment yang kita lalui tadi.

Aku berkata dalam hati.. Tuhan apakah dia orangnya? Bagiku kalo emang dia bener adalah orangnya, penantianku ini bener-bener worth waiting for. Hahaha. Sejak itu aku menyimpulkan bahwa aku mulai suka dengannya.

Hari berganti hari kita sering bbm'an dan tiba pada suatu saat si Jason tersebut seringkali tidak membalas bbm ku lagi. Ia sering beralasan bahwa ia sibuk. Dan aku memakluminya. Namun hari demi hari dia semakin tidak pernah bbm aku lagi. Dan aku merasa sangat sedih. Sehingga aku selalu mendesaknya supaya balas bbm ku. Namun sepertinya hal itu membuat dia, ya bisa dibilang mungkin dia jadi merasa risih sama aku. Terus akhirnya dia mengaku padaku bahwa dia ngga ada rasa lebih dari sekedar "ngefans" aja sama aku. Karena cinta nya masih sama mantan nya yang dulu. Seketika itu juga hati ini terasa seperti digores pisau. Sakit... Tiba-tiba air mata mulai menetes. Yah, aku menangis tanpa henti. Selama ini mungkin aku yang terlalu GR, menganggap dia menyukaiku. Namun aku juga tak salah bukan jika berharap bahwa dia juga punya perasaan yang sama?


Apa yang kamu telah lakuin ke aku, mungkin bagimu hal biasa saja. Namun, bagiku itu adalah hal yang sangat special. Yang tidak dapat aku rasakan dengan lelaki manapun selain kamu. Aku merasa kamu berbeda, dibanding dengan lelaki lainnya. Dan awalnya aku percaya bahwa kamu lah jawaban dari penantian ku selama ini. Tapi ternyata...

Baiklah, aku akan berusaha move on dari kamu.. Aku terus meyakinkan diriku sendiri bahwa ini bukan cinta. Mungkin ini hanya ketertarikan sesaat karena aku merasakan sesuatu yang baru dalam hadirmu. Aku tau kok, cepat atau lambat, aku pasti akan ngelupain kamu walaupun mungkin sekarang itu terasa berat :")
Maybe now.. It's better for us to be like strangers..

*NB : I write this story based on what's on my mind, NOT based on my true story.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

My family, my everything.

I don't know when it started.. or how it all began. But God created family. He was teaching what it means.. to love, honor, and obey. He wanted a strong bond, that we don't see too much today. He wanted someone to hold us, and show respect for others. He wanted someone who'd be gentle, and so He created mother. He wanted someone strong. A support filled with love. And so He created father. Sent from heaven up above. And sister came next.
I have a lot to be thankful for. The memories through the years. The many times together. Full of laughter. Full of tears. Thanks for this family, Lord..

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Dear my Heavenly Father ..

God.. Thank You for my life on this earth.. however challenging or not. Thank You for giving me free will to love and be loved.. to make my own decisions, to learn from my mistakes, to cry when I'm sad, to laugh when I'm happy.. Thank You for my family, friends, colleagues.. and for every other person I meet along my journey. Thank You for giving me strength to overcome adversity, to do what's right for the benefit of the greater good.. and to rise above negativity. Thank You for giving me hope.. where I know there'll be an end to world's suffering and pain.. and the promise of a world filled with light and everlasting love. Thank You Jesus for listening to me.. And there's one more thing I'd like to say.. I love You Jesus more and more each day!!<3

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Don't give up.

Just don't give up, cimonnn!! okayy?! Because someone out there feels the same exact way you do right now. Because this is life, And it's not supposed to be easy or perfect. Because even if it was, we would all still have something to complain about. Human. Never get satisfied. So just hang in there, Whatever is going wrong, will eventually go right. Whether it's friends, family, or boys. Nothing will ever be damaged forever. Like they say, in the end you'll be happy. And if you're not happy... well, then it's not the end.

Now is it?

Waiting.

You know that feeling of waiting for someone.. I mean really waiting for someone..
Standing in front of a restaurant or somewhere in the cold and having hundreds of people pass you on the sidewalk. And you don't want to do anything else, because you're afraid you might miss something.. that somehow if you don't spot him right away, he'll walk right by. So you stand there and don't do anything except think about how you're standing there. Occasionally you might look at your watch, or check your cell phone to see if it:s accidentally on silent, even though you already checked for that a minute ago.

That's what this is starting to feel like...




Everything is different.

Be proud of ourselves, after all the shit we've been through, we're still standing.
It's not just other people we need to forgive. We need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done.
Sometimes you've to forget what's gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what's coming next.

If you asked me last year where I saw myself in a year, I could quickly tell you this wasn't it. Everything I am right now.. is nothing like I thought I would have been. The way things are in general are nothing like I thought they would be. Seeing time fly by in the blink of an eye and feeling like nothing ever changes. Feeling like everything has stayed the same throughout those days, yet looking back at where I was this exact time last year, and... everything is different.




el-o-vi-i.


LOVE means that we can accept him/her for the person that they are. And that we don't wish to change them into someone else. It means that we will love them and stand by them even through the worst of times. It means still loving them when we're in a bad mood or too tired to do things we want to do. It means loving them when we're down, not just when we're fun to be with. It means that we care enough to fight for what we have and that we love them enough not to let go. It means thinking of them, dreaming of them, wanting and needing them constantly, hoping they feel the same way for us.



Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sahabat? Cinta?

Ada yang tak sengaja bertemu, menjalin persahabatan, kemudian saling mencintai..

Entah kenapa akhir-akhir ini tema tulisanku adalah mengenai bestfriend. Mungkin ada sangkut pautnya dengan lagu yang aku sering dengerin lately.. Hahaha yeah, Best Friend by Jason Chen. Like what I wrote in the previous post. Hihi, iyaa, aku lagi seneng banget sama lagu satu ini since my best friends use it for the soundtrack of my birthday video. (you can see on the older post).

What are you guys thinking about my first sentence?
"Ada yang tak sengaja bertemu, menjalin persahabatan, kemudian saling mencintai.."
Menurut kalian apakah mungkin tumbuh rasa cinta di antara sahabat? Well, sangat mungkin sekali. Dimulai dari komunikasi intensif. Karena memang cinta datang dengan tiba-tiba, senyata-nyatanya, seada-adanya... begitu saja. Lalu.. Pantaskah mereka mencapai titik ini? Terlalu cepatkah jika mereka menyebutnya cinta? Menurut saya tidak. Terkadang ada yang selalu berada di sampingmu, mengaku temanmu, namun sebenernya dia punya perasaan lebih dari itu. Ada. Namun, tak ada yang sia-sia ketika kamu berani mengungkapkan. Keuntungannya? Melegakan perasaan. Tapi terkadang, aku berpikir.. kalau tidak mampu membuat seseorang tersenyum, maka jangan coba-coba merebut apa yang dia jaga hingga saat ini. Kalau kita cuma menuntut tanpa memikirkan perasaan orang tersebut, kita hanya akan menyakiti satu sama lain, ya kan?

Tapi tidak semua degup jantung yang memburu, pikiran yang selalu tertuju, tersenyum tanpa sebab, bisa disebut cinta...

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Best Friend - Jason Chen


"... Now I realize you were the only one..
It's never too late to show it..
Grow old together..
Have feelings we had before..."

"... This is something like a movie..
And I don't know how it ends girl..
But I fell in love with my best friend..."

"... Through all the dudes that came by..
And all the nights that you'd cry..
Girl I was there right by your side..
How could I tell you I loved you..
When you were so happy..
With some other guy?..."

"... I know it sounds crazy..
That you'd be my baby..."

"...And I don't wanna ruin what we have..
Love is so unpredictable..."