Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

5:30 PM

This song has been with me all day, yes Hosanna. Perhaps everything I’m about to say you won’t identify with. But maybe, just maybe, there is one other person who struggles with this too.
This is really representative of my passion for my life right now—the cry of my heart is especially reflected in the words in the bridge:
“Heal my heart and make it clean—Open up my eyes to the things unseen—Show me how to love like You have loved me—Break my heart for what breaks Yours—Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause…”

Yes, Lord. Break my heart for the things that break Your heart.

As I think about my past, the wounds of my soul are still raw. There is hurt that has never been resolved, i realize that in the process of healing i allowed my heart to become hardened. I think sometimes i just don't want my heart to ache anymore. So my solution is to keep my heart covered up.

Last night in the midst of worrying, I was wide awake. And it was almost like God said to me "Give me your attention." So, there i was in the middle of the night, lying in bed wide awake, crying, and feeling the break in my heart. A sad and somewhat scary thing in the middle of the night, but when i was able to gain some composure, talk with my Father, and give my worries of the situation over to Him, i was in a much safer, happier, and confident place.

Here are some things i'm learning through this.. I've got to stop long enough to sit down and cry. As a woman who thrives off of being busy, this is one of my biggest downfalls. I don't allow myself time to let things around me sink in. But i'm reminded that yes, even Jesus.. sat down and wept. [John 11:35]

I've got to know what breaks God's heart. The heart of God is a beautiful place. But i will only know His heart by knowing His word. Maybe these are simple thoughts. But they are the truth that God is pouring out on me. My heart is burdened to get to this place of really allowing my heart to break like His.

To be broken for the things of Christ means to die to self. We have to stop living out of our own selfish desires, give up the selfish ambition, stop living for the expectation of man, and truly allow God to burden us with concern for others. 
First things first though. We cannot be broken unless we allow Christ to do His thing in us. That means being open to Godly instruction and advice and humbling ourselves to realize that we have things to work on within ourselves. It means actually praying for and being open to change. It’s not easy. Spiritual growth hurts, and it isn’t always going to be the quick rip of a band-aid type pain. Sometimes it’s going to be the re-breaking of things that healed wrong in the first place and need to be reset in the truth of the Word of God.  I know this from experience. God is still working on me in many areas. But the moment we think we’ve arrived is the moment we need to do a U-turn and look inward at ourselves. We won’t arrive anywhere until we arrive at the gates of heaven. The choice of destination is completely up to us.

Lord, let me really see into the eternal as i go about my day-to-day lives; give me Your perspective. I want to notice those around us who are broken and lonely and lost, and extend grace and love to them in the same way that You have loved me. 
I want to live in such a way that Your Kingdom is really first in my life. This is a choice i make, Jesus, to be incarnated into those situations where i must set aside any position of comfort i may have.

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